On Demanding Dignity

Posted on April 23, 2015 by Robert Ringer Comments (31)

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In case you hadn’t noticed, dignity is a rare commodity in our decadent, morally degenerate world of the new millennium. We see confirmation of this all around us in such phenomena as:

  • Talk shows that feature tragic people emotionally and psychologically disrobing themselves in public while sharing their most intimate secrets with millions of lobotomized strangers.
  • Attorneys who routinely advertise on radio, television, and billboards, urging prospects to demand their “rights” through legal action, though not that many years ago such tacky solicitations would have resulted in an attorney’s being blackballed by his profession.
  • A tidal wave of verbal sloth. The “F word” has long been the in word, especially among teenagers. Worse, news commentators on the major networks routinely use incorrect words and phrases such as “very unique” (unique means “one of a kind”), “irregardless” (no such word), and “he is a man that always finishes first” (who always finishes first).

And, of course, the word like is inserted in front of virtually every sentence, as in, “Like … I mean … what’s a Valley Girl (or Caroline Kennedy) supposed to do?”

  • Doctors and other professionals who wear casual clothes, even blue jeans, to the office.
  • Role-model, multimillionaire athletes who, while not busy beating their wives and girlfriends or committing a variety of other felonies, fill mind-dulling interviews with such intellectual comments as, “C’mon, man,” “That’s what it’s all about,” and “We got the greatest fans in the world.” (Yuk!)
  • Millions of people who surrender their individuality and throw in their lots with political-action groups who demand their “rights” (i.e., insist that the government fulfill their desires at the expense of others).

Which brings me to a fundamental misconception about dignity in our age of expanded rights. Political-action groups love to babble about the need to force everyone to treat this or that group of people with dignity, as though dignity were a right. But dignity is no more a right than love or friendship.

You should never allow yourself to get caught in the Dignity Trap, especially when it’s used as an excuse for failure (as in “victimization”), because the reality is that no one can be forced to treat you with dignity. Through a variety of applied pressures, someone might feel that it’s in his best interest to pretend to treat you with dignity, but such false dignity breeds only resentment.

So-called political correctness is a perfect example of this, so much so that, through ridiculous overuse, it has evolved from resentment into comedy. When a concept is no longer taken seriously, where’s the dignity?

Sadly, America has long been in the throes of a politically correct intellectual dark ages. Political correctness advocates now claim that more than 1 million college students have been victims of “ethnic violence” — which includes insults! (Can you imagine a blogger claiming that some of his readers’ nasty comments about him are a form of violence?) While many call it political correctness, I choose to call it insanity.

If violence now includes insults — insults that are defined by campus radicals of the 1960s who now control the centers of higher education — then all my dictionaries are outdated. Violence is the use of physical force with an intent to do harm.

Insults, on the other hand, come under the protection of free speech, and are subject to individual interpretation, at that. The road to a society where racism, to use the most common example, is minimized is paved not with coercion, but self-respect. It is self-respect that leads to dignity.

How does one acquire self-respect? Through personal virtuosity. In other words, dignity is derived from within. And from self-respect flows the respect of others — as a natural consequence.

Put another way, whereas civility has to do with how you treat others, dignity has to do with how you treat yourself. Sorry, activist sociopaths, but you don’t have a right to be treated with dignity. You do, however, have a right to possess dignity.

Demanding dignity from others is the ultimate self-delusion. If being treated with dignity is genuinely important to you, the most efficient way to bring that about is to act in dignified ways. And, happily, that’s something over which you have complete control.

Also, make it a point never to use the shopworn excuse that “everybody’s doing it” to rationalize undignified actions. Respectable people who are focused on improving their lives aren’t “doing it,” whatever “it” may happen to be at any given point in time, for the pragmatic reason that undignified actions simply are not in their best interest.

Always remember that dignity is about you, not society. You can wear your hair purple, put a diamond-studded earring in your nose, and have a snake tattoo burned into your forehead, but no one has to hire you or do business with you. (Although, sadly, our society is moving in that direction.) Further, if you decide to go this route, I highly recommend that you not relocate to Singapore, where caning is a national pastime.

The good news is that in spite of how decadent the world around you may be, you always have the option of rising above it and commanding (not demanding) the admiration and respect of others through your words and actions. Free will is a great invention. Use it.

Robert Ringer

+Robert Ringer is an American icon whose unique insights into life have helped millions of readers worldwide. He is also the author of two New York Times #1 bestselling books, both of which have been listed by The New York Times among the 15 best-selling motivational books of all time.

31 responses to “On Demanding Dignity”

  1. Paul Anthony says:

    Spot on, Robert

  2. Marte says:

    Our politicians, especially the current administration, are attempting to destroy American dignity by urging more and more to live "on the dole."

    How can one possess self-respect and dignity when he or she contributes nothing to the world and lives off the efforts of others?

    And… how can anyone have dignity while blabbing his or her personal business to both acquaintances and strangers? I can't believe how many people are eager to relate the details of their medical issues and their problems with their children and/or their sex lives.

    • Jean says:

      Interesting you would bring up self-reliance as an avenue to dignity. If you've ever seen the movie (or read the book) "On the Waterfront," the priest in that story was based on a real person who battled both the racketeers and the Communists who were taking over labor unions in the 1950s. His reason? He believed that "every person was entitled to the DIGNITY of working and being a contributing member of society, and no outside agency should control a person's ability to do so." How often do we hear about the dignity of work today? About in the same proportions as that of the percentage children aged 18 – 30 who still live with parents, pay no rent, share no responsibilities for the care and upkeep of the home and have few aspirations to move out.

  3. Albert says:

    Robert, you speak the sad truth, and unfortunately there doesn't seem to be an end to this insanity. Before my father passed away several years ago, he used to always say, "Apres moi, le deluge." French for "After me, the flood." Well, can I let you in on a secret: The flood is here! Keep on smiling…

  4. Mike Major says:

    You chronicle the inexorable decline in moral and civic standards; particularly the disappearance of civility. We have even sunk to the point where an insult can be cast as a "hate crime."

    • Albert says:

      And that's the great paradox Mike. We live in this self-proclaimed society trying to "fix" every individual's wrong word, and yet people have never been more uncivil towards one another. Like Robert writes, dignity comes from within, and the moment our politicians legislate morality, is the moment that civility goes down the drain. But the people always get the politicians they deserve…

      • Bob Burg says:

        Albert, great point!

        "And that's the great paradox Mike. We live in this self-proclaimed society trying to "fix" every individual's wrong word, and yet people have never been more uncivil towards one another."

      • Jim Hallett says:

        It's not an accident that we have these results. As part of the dumbing down process engineered by the State – at the same time they control our money (Federal Reserve, though technically NOT a part of the official govt.), or health, and police us to death, they coerce and steal from us daily. When people are entrapped and treated like slaves, they often revert to repulsive behavior. One does still need to be responsible for one's actions and civility, but for all those who want a Big State in place, this is the kind of degeneracy, you get.

      • Phil says:

        Brilliant point. Watching Baltimore rioting in the news. It never ends and in fact is increasing geometrically, it seems. Townhall reports that a journalist asked numerous students at The University of Baltimore to identify a picture of Ronald Reagan, and more than half (if I have the numbers correct) had no clue. Again, these are "students". So-called "higher education" has become an abomination. And just saw that we have had 50 million immigrants (there are only about 330 million people in this country) over the past 8 years. I think immigrants are great, but many of these people, illegal and legal, do not have the cultural foundation to understand – or even conceptualize – how a constitutional republic works. We are in deep trouble.

        Sorry to be a ray of sunshine this fine morning in Texas, but one cannot deny the truth before one's eyes.

        So it is good to try to live one's own life in as dignified a way as possible, and for God's sake move to a conservative state or better yet, another country.

        • cara nome says:

          DO YOU KNOW THAT, IN ORDER TO ENTER/LIVE IN OTHER COUNTRIES, I.E., IMMIGRATE, YOU NEED TO HAVE SO MUCH CASH WITH YOU? AND IF THERE ARE COUNTRIES WHERE YOU CAN JUST WALK IN AND BE TAKEN CARE OF, BESIDES MAYBE CANADA, LET US ALL KNOW. I LEARNED THIS BY LOOKING UP OTHER STUFF. BY THE BY, I AM NOT SURE EVEN CANADA IS AS "EASY" AS IS THE U.S.

  5. harold says:

    Very truthful Robert.The way business people act these days is appalling. No respect or courtesy for the efforts of others. It is a dark age we live in. One still has control over ones behavior and that is what counts.

  6. Paul Herring says:

    Yes, agree with what's said here. In our country (Australia) lawyers (we call them solicitors) routinely advertise a 'no-win, no- pay' fee structure, knowing that they won't take on a case unless they're nearly 100% sure they'll win it!

    As well we play cricket here and what used to be called a gentlemen's game is no longer that with all kinds of profanity and 'sledging' – verbal abuse of an opposing player. These aren't good role models.

    Dignity has all but disappeared from the lives of many of us – sadly.

  7. Andy says:

    I'm curious about the statement below:
    "Further, if you decide to go this route, I highly recommend that you not relocate to Singapore, where caning is a national pastime."

    What is it about Singapore that is behind this statement?

    You mean they cane people who are different; people who "wear their hair purple, put a diamond-studded earring in their noses, and have a snake tattoo burned into their foreheads"?

    By "national pastime", you mean the justice system in Singapore employ caning for all offences?

    • Jean says:

      Singapore has rules posted everywhere related to civility and public decorum, such as no gum chewing in public, cover your mouth when you cough in public, etc. Basically, the things that a good set of parents would have taught his / her children when they were growing up. No, Singaporians don't cane you if you are chomping on a wad of gum, but they will look at you like you're a complete jerk and quite possibly say something about your behavior. Caning is reserved for entitled Western teenagers who indulge in activities like vandalism or shoplifting. The state takes over where their parents failed to venture.

    • cara says:

      WHAT WE HAVE NOW, MOSTLY, IS THE RESULT OF NO DISCIPLINE WHEN THEY (THE KIDS) WERE GROWING UP. OF THREATENING THE PARENTS WITH JAIL TIME, ETC., FOR CORPORAL PUNISHMENT FOR EVEN A SLAP. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.

      HAVE YOU BEEN IN CHURCH WHEN SOMEONE'S LITTLE DARLING STARTS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF IT'S LUNGS AND THE PRIEST SOLDIERS ON…AND THE PARENTS SIT. AND SIT.
      THE CHURCHES THAT I KNOW OF ALL HAVE WHAT WE USED TO CALL "CRYING ROOMS". SO, NO EXCUSE. NO SHAME, EITHER.

  8. David says:

    No, they don't cane as a national pastime. It's only done when deserved. You don't need to worry about going there. From your comments, and question you wouldn't like it.

  9. John Van Epps says:

    It's akin to trying to legislate morality – can't be done, because you can't force a person to think a specific way. Discrimination will always exist in one form or another, because people are allowed to think for themselves (at least thus far). Problems emanate when people refuse to think – as so many around the world do now.

    Thank God I grew up when rational thought was expected in our public institutions – not the indoctrination taking place there today…

  10. Surprised no one has yet weighed in on the proliferation of 'rights'. Most of the people demanding their 'rights' have no idea what that means, so they interpret it to mean 'something I want without working for or otherwise earning'.

  11. Jim Plouffe says:

    Robert, I can't believe that you don't have a syndicated column. Your thinking is that good. Who would you say had the most influence on you and your ability to think?

  12. terrysmith56 says:

    Nicely put Robert. Always enjoy your articles. Always well thought out and well written. It's a shame that spelling, grammar and logical thought have been removed from education systems, government, law and parenting all across the western world.

  13. Sean Baltz says:

    It is sad we need to be reminded the importance of human dignity, yet thankfully Mr. Ringer is there to do it for us and to show us the right way to live. Thank you.

  14. Hats of sir, that needs strength of character.

  15. Mr. Ringer has written a perfect essay/commentary here. Excellent! And, as I come to the end of THE FOUNTAINHEAD, that I now call one of the best books I have ever read, Mr. Ringer's essay is a fine expression of Ayn Rand's points. I would not have read AR had I not read Mr. Ringer's essays. I had the wrong idea about her writings! Reading THE FOUNTAINHEAD, older people may evaluate the life we've lived or mis-lived! This essay "should be" required reading in America! I was among the first readers of Mr. Ringer's books, and now he is capping off his life in an excellent way! (The Fountainhead makes me feel good about how I have lived my life!)

  16. bridelia says:

    Brilliant essay, Robert. And, R van der Voort, I read The Fountainhead, too, recently and thought it was an amazing book – long live objectivism/individualism.

  17. Mike says:

    Robert's article brings to mind the people who become agitated and demand to know if you are "disrespecting" them at the slightest provocation. They then demand that you not disrespect them them, whatever that means. To me, that's akin to the old joke about not thinking about an elephant once someone instructs you to not think about an elephant.

    Every time I hear someone make the statement regarding respect/disrespect, I think, "what has he/she done to cause me to respect him/her?" Exactly Robert's point, I believe.

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